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Bro code for dating

There’s an etiquette to being on the prowl, much like there is in the wild when a pride of lions lying down under a Savannah tree spots a gazelle gliding over. At the end of the day, there can only be one guy who gets the chance to date her.

The system of dibs keeps a friend group from physically duking it out over the rights to pursue a fair maiden.

Just forfeit all the females over to Sam until you boost his self-confidence back to human levels.

If you still don't see what I mean, here's another example: Let's say you and your boys -- in high school -- find a pair of Carmine Jordan XIs lying on the side of the road.

The idea of a Guy Code or Bro Code has several meanings, but for the purposes of this post, it refers to any situation where one guy is supposed to avoid dating a girl (or hooking up with her, or just flirting with her, etc.) due to Reasons that involve a second guy.

Like guys themselves, the reasons are numerous and frequently stupid, and anyone who claims to know the exact number of them is lying.

As Princess Jasmine made clear, no one can dibs/win/claim a human being, so SIT THE EFF DOWN WITH THAT SH%$.

It has in recent years become a jumble of incompatible, largely incoherent dicta.

This is contrary to the spirit of the Bro Code, which is intended to be clear enough to recall and apply even after a couple of six-packs. Here is the Bro Code, boiled down to its essentials.

You then can say something like “Yo, dude, I need this more than you." A lot of times, especially if you’re concerned with doing the “right" thing, you should defer your dibs to those more desperate.

Vengeance is not a motive to be overlooked, especially regarding dibs.

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And no, I’m not referring to high school; I’m talking about a 21-year-old virgin (or older). You can’t just “call dibs” on the pursuit of one girl and expect them to last forever. From my experience, if you can’t pull a date or a phone number within two and a half weeks, it goes on to the next man. The first person to "call dibs" will have full freedom to court an eligible bachelorette. If your boys come by the kitchen days later, and you still haven't eaten it -- it's up for grabs again.

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